How to Be a Better Listener in 3 Easy Steps
Going All the Way by Craig Groeschel of LifeChurch.tv (Edmond, OK) was written as a guide to having a better marriage, but it also has some valuable lessons for leaders. In particular, Craig discusses how to be a better listener in 3 easy steps.
- When someone is speaking, stop everything and focus intently on the other person.
Don’t think about something else. Don’t formulate your response. You’re goal is to comprehend not just the person’s words, but their heart. - Don’t just listen with your ears, but also with your eyes.
Pay attention to facial expressions and to body language. You’ll be surprised how much information comes through gestures and stance, even how the other person breathes while they’re talking. - Repeat back to the person what you’re hearing so the other person knows what you heard.
By telling [someone] what I think [he] meant, I can confirm that I’ve understood [him]. It also affirms to [him] the value of what [he] said. It shows [him] not just that I heard [him], but that I was listening. Which demonstrates to [him] that I care.
Being a good listener not only makes you more likable but wiser. There is a lot to be learned from the ideas and insights of other people.
For Discussion:
Are there any tips you would add to these three for becoming a better listener?
Sean Pritzkau Said,
January 28, 2008 @ 9:49 pm
take notes!
Michael Buckingham Said,
January 28, 2008 @ 10:49 pm
My wife says thank you!
Good stuff, I’m a talker so listening doesn’t come naturally these are all good reminders. Reminds me of a funny scenario that happens over and over…especially with sales reps:
Me: Hello, I’m Michael
Sales rep: Hi. Do you prefer Mike or Michael
(note: why ask? I introduced myself as Michael)
Me: Michael usually.
Sales rep: Cool.
Sales rep: So tell me Mike what do you….
Ugh. Listen and people will tell you what they need.
Guy Richards Said,
January 29, 2008 @ 3:57 pm
When listening show expression back. Feel pain with them, laugh with them, get excited with them. This is the deepest connection you can have. It’s one thing to listen but it’s better to understand.
But hey, this could be a slanted view because I’m over expressive anyway.
PS. Your doing a great thing for the Lord Kent!
Guy
Prv. 3:5-6