Boys are different than girls. As previously discussed, boys prefer a dramatically different learning environment and style than how girls prefer to learn.

The social preferences of boys and girls are also sharply contrasted according to new brain scan research from the National Institute of Mental Health. TIME summarizes the research nicely. Essentially, girls want one-on-one close friendships, and boys prefer to interact in groups.

As girls progress from early puberty to late adolescence, certain regions of their brains become more active when they face a potential social interaction. Specifically, when an older girl anticipates meeting someone new — someone she believes will be interested in her — her nucleus accumbens (which is associated with reward and motivation), hypothalamus (associated with hormone secretion), hippocampus (associated with social learning) and insula (associated with subjective feelings) all become more active. By contrast, boys in the same situation show no such increase in activity in these areas. In fact, the activity in their insula actually declines.

This research combined with our knowledge of gender learning preferences, gives insight into how we can create youth ministries that maximize both a teen’s learning and social enjoyment.

For Boys:

So when teaching boys, keep the group large but controllable (i.e., 12-24 boys) and in even numbers for team competition. Stand and move around while speaking forcefully and realistically. Allow the boys to occasionally move and keep the room at 69 degrees Fahrenheit. Use cooler colors in your environment and teaching. Play sports and competitive games, so the boys can naturally bond via social competition.

For Girls:

So when teaching girls, keep the group very small and intimate and allow for one-on-one interaction or even mentoring. Sit in a circle with the girls and speak descriptively and in a nurturing tone. Keep the room at 75 degrees Fahrenheit. Use lots of colors, particularly warmer colors, and use visual and/or tactile textures. Create a secure yet stimulating environment where they can feel comfortable in taking risks that you encourage them to take.

For Discussion:
- If you teach kids and youth, what has your experience taught you about their preferences?

The New York Times recently reported on the growing trend of parents in prison and how it is affecting their children. In the United States, roughly 1.5 million children have a parent in prison.

How it affects poor urban children…

• 6% chance of becoming homeless
  (versus 3% without a parent in prison)
• More aggressive behavior like hitting others and destroying objects
  (49% of 5-year-old boys versus 38% without a parent in prison)
• More likely to experience feelings of depression, isolation, or anxiety
  (35% versus 28% without a parent in prison)

Prison statistics claim that 1 in 99 Americans are in prison. We cannot forget that prison ministry is not simply about reaching those in prison but reaching their families, particularly their children, as well. Angel Tree is an example of one ministry that is serving these kids.

For Discussion:
- What are some other effective ministries or methods that you have seen reach prisoners’ families?

Ken Ham of Answers in Genesis commissioned America’s Research Group to investigate why young people leave the church. The findings are published in Ken Ham’s new book Already Gone. Some insights include:

Among 20- to 29-year-old evangelicals

• 95% attended church regularly during elementary school
• 95% attended church regularly during middle school
  >> 40% first had doubts about the Bible in middle school
• 55% attended church regularly during high school
  >> 43.7% first had doubts about the Bible in high school
• 11% attended church regularly during college
  >> 10% first had doubts about the Bible in college

Oddly, the study discovered that those who attended Sunday school (61%) are actually more likely than non-attendees (39%):

• to not believe that all the accounts and stories in the Bible are true
• to doubt the Bible because it was written by men
• to defend keeping abortion legal
• to accept the legalization of gay marriage
• to believe in evolution
• to believe that good people don’t need to go to church

Clearly, most children’s ministries are failing at producing long-term disciples. So what will it take to change this?

On the one hand, I believe that every children’s ministry can absolutely improve what they do. There is always room for improvement, but I also think these failed children’s ministries are the byproduct of failed churches.

If you want to reach and disciple children, you must reach and disciple their parents. Church going kids spend only 1% of their time at church, 20% at school, 30% sleeping, and much of the rest watching TV and playing. Children’s ministers can determine the 1%, but it is the parents who have the power to decide what reaches their kids during the other 99%. If you disciple the parents, you disciple the kids.

For Discussion:
- How can children’s ministries better disciple kids in the Sunday school classroom?
- How can churches better train parents to disciple their kids during the rest of the week?

(via)

According to U.N. food officials, the global financial meltdown has pushed the ranks of the world’s hungry to a record 1 billion people.

Now is a good time to build a well, give some food, or support a child.

According to the Barna Group, half of Americans say they know a growing number of people who are tired of the usual type of church experience. The statistics are even higher among blacks (59%) and Hispanics (58%).

Keep in mind, one dissatisfied man’s “typical church experience” may be another dissatisfied man’s dream church. However, this important trend should not be taken lightly. Half of Americans perceive the number of people who are tired of typical church experiences is growing.

And 64% of Americans are completely open to carrying out and pursuing their faith in an environment or structure that differs from that of a typical church.

So what is “typical church?”
And how can the global Church reach the dissatisfied?

Last year, I blogged about special needs ministry for children with autism. It has become a forum of discussion for parents and children’s ministers to discuss the challenges of church for children with autism.

I stressed the importance of developing a unique approach and relationship with each child. I highlighted research from the University of Wisconsin-Madison that discovered, “autistic children shy from eye contact because they perceive even the most familiar face as an uncomfortable threat.” But the greatest insight comes from the answers to my question:

What advice do you have for ministering to special needs children?

Here is a summary of the insights.

WHAT WORKS

• Buddy System - children with special needs are paired with trained adults to assist them at whatever level is needed. Experienced volunteers trained by child psychologists and educators are a plus. (Example: Joy Zone)
• Childcare Nights (respite care) - childcare for children with special needs and their siblings so the parent(s) can relax. On-site doctors, nurses, and OT/PT’s is a plus. (Example: Revive)
• Community Outreach - go beyond the church walls and minister in the community because some parents will not attend church because they believe their child with special needs will disturb others or cannot be entrusted to others.
• Dual Classrooms - sometimes children with special needs participate in the same class as their age group, and other times the children with special needs are in a quiet room especially designed for them as not to be overwhelming or too stimulating.
• Separate Classroom - children with special needs are separated from the standard children’s classrooms but their parents and siblings are welcomed.
• Zachariah’s Way - trains churches how to better minister to people with special needs and their families.
• Prayer

TIPS

• Labeling their Identity - Do not refer to people by their disability. Say “children with autism” rather than “autistic children” because it can subtly change one’s perception of a child with autism.
• Every Child is Different - Determine how to reach each child. Children with autism don’t like too much stimulation. But children with other disabilities may thrive on it.
• Give Expectations - many children with special needs behave better when they know what is expected of them.
• Be Visual - Include inanimate objects need to be included in lessons. Things like puppets, pictures, and videos take the focus off the teacher and engages the child without intimidating him.
• Use Music - children with autism love music.
• More than Chairs - children with autism do not like to sit for long periods of time.
• Keep It Small - children with autism like small environments
• Ask & Research - do not tell the parent what you think. Ask the parents about the child then do some research.
• Don’t gossip.
• Love the child.

WHY IT MATTERS (stories from parents)

• I have a stepson who is autistic, and I tried to take him to church, I really miss going to church. My problem is I spent more time in the child’s room than I spent at church because the people who teach there are simply not educated in the needs of an autistic student. I have been looking into getting a tss or a pca to come and help during church but to no avail. It would be wonderful if more people truly understood instead of staring and whispering. (Stacy)
• I have a 20 year old son with Asperger Syndrome who loves the Lord deeply. Sadly the church environment has been the one place he has never been welcomed or encouraged to return. The secular world has been far kinder to him. Though he desperately wants friends and fellowship, the lack of encouragement within the church body has caused him to retreat further into his own world. He now refuses to try again. (Rhiannon)
• I have been very grateful for a Special Needs Sunday School class that was started. I feel comfortable with leaving him there and I am at least getting to hear a sermon once a week! (Sheryl)

For Discussion:
- What advice do you have for ministering to children with special needs?

Keep the insights coming!

For the first time since 1995, more Americans are pro-life (51%) than pro-choice (42%) on the issue of abortion according to Gallup. This coincides with the trending decrease in U.S. abortions since 1990.

While most Christians are pro-choice and view abortion as morally wrong, there are differing views on how to further reduce the popularity of abortion.

Stereotypically, Christians believe the solution is legislating abortion and making it illegal. This solution is particularly popular among those who take the theological stance that the shedding of innocent blood curses a nation.

Donald Miller counters this perspective with:

A sort of Republican Evangelical Conservative mindset has been to make it illegal, and it’s never worked. I don’t see it working anytime soon. It’s a great bit of idealism. But it is a pipedream, and I think we need to face that now twenty years in.

We need to face that, and we need to be able to work together to come up with other solutions. And so many people will disagree with that. They will say, “No, we have to win a moral victory,” and actually, the moral victory will cost many, many lives. And they will say, “It’s worth it to be right,” and I would say, “No, I think we need to deal with the issue holistically.”

Eugene Cho shares a similar perspective (part 1, part 2):

Like most Christians I know, I am against abortion.  However, I just do not believe we can legislate it.

Rather than legislating it, I wonder how abortions can be reduced by speaking and appealing to the Heart and Soul of a person and to make all necessary provisions if a person decides to have that baby.  In short, can we maintain choice but do all that we can to preserve and ensure the life of an unborn?  This is where most of us fall short.

I find it incredibly frustrating and naive when Christians take a stance of being against abortion at all costs but are unwilling to yield to issues that have direct correlation to abortions: sex education in schools [starting in middle school], health care benefits for low income families and women, post birth care and benefits, usage of contraceptives, etc.

Legislation understandably is an ideal solution, but it has been a sloppy and weak one. Unfortunately, politics has become a stumbling block that drives Christians further away from the people they need to reach. Christians have been labeled as judgmental, insensitive, and too involved in politics.

Ultimately, only a life-changing relationship with Christ can effectively change a person and a culture for the better. If you want to reduce abortions, create a better ministry.

Skye Jethani manages Christianity Today’s Leadership Journal and is a pastor at Blanchard Alliance Church (Wheaton, IL). His new book, The Divine Commodity, discusses how consumerism has affected churches and Christ followers. Upon given the opportunity to ask Skye one question about his new book, I asked:

How can a church best avoid becoming a victim of consumer culture?

His response was:

The short answer is—it can’t. It’s rather like asking how a fish and avoid water or how a snake can avoid getting its stomach dirty. The reality is every person living in the North American culture has been impacted and shaped by consumerism. It is the air we breathe and the bowl we swim in. Therefore, every church is full of members and leaders shaped by the uncontested values and beliefs of consumerism. So, avoidance is not an option unless we abandon our missional calling and retreat to monastic cloisters removed from all popular cultural exposure.

We cannot avoid consumerism, but we can recover from it. This transformation requires processes of deconstruction and reconstruction. This is exactly what The Divine Commodity is about—uncovering how we have all been malformed by consumerism, and how we’ve misconstrued our faith in the process, and prescribing practices (corporate and individual) to reshape us with God’s help into communities that reflect his kingdom more brightly.

My book does not advocate a radical coup within the church or call for a revolution in the church’s structure. It’s not about strategy, systems, or programs. In fact, if nothing ever changes about the way your church operates, you are still able to engage and employ the lessons within The Divine Commodity. I don’t believe we can (or should) overturn our consumer culture. Nor do I believe churches (from the mini to the mega) should just radically revamp their structures. That wouldn’t solve the threat posed by consumerism—it’s a far more elusive foe because the battlefield between consumerism and the Kingdom of God is not external, but within the heart and imagination of every believer.

As consumerism’s grip over you begins to loosen, and you experience the transforming reality of “Christ in you, the hope of glory,” the way you worship, serve, and relate will begin to change. In time, through resources like The Divine Commodity and others, perhaps others will join you in your quest for a richer Christian life. The gospel has always been an incarnate reality, transmitted life to life across the medium of relationship. As this begins to take root within your church, regardless of what the leadership or programming is doing, the message of hope, liberty, and fullness in Christ will spread like yeast through a lump of dough. So, rather than criticizing those still enraptured with Consumer Christianity, save your energy and simply let your life reveal a fuller glory which does not fade.

For Discussion:
- How do you think consumerism has affected the church?
- How do you think a church can best avoid becoming a victim of consumer culture?