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I spent part of my childhood as a missionary’s kid in Lima, Peru. It wasn’t the mud huts and jungle you see on National Geographic. Lima is actually an urban metropolis with 8 million residents.

THE STORY:
Less than a block from our house was a large park with grassy fields that were perfect for soccer. My brother and I went to play a game with some other boys from the neighborhood. There were German boys, an Asian boy, and a few Peruvians, and they all spoke Spanish.

Being new to Peru, my brother and I hardly spoke any Spanish. But despite the language barrier, we somehow found a way to interact and start a game. As we kicked the ball around the field, we quickly learned that they did know some English.

“F@%$ you!” one boy said, quite pleased with himself. And after that, a slew of other surprising words followed. They had nothing against us. In fact, they liked us because we were Americans. They wanted to impress us with their English cussing.

But as a nine-year-old boy, I was not impressed. I was shocked. And I did not interact with them much after that. They knew English, but they did not know the right words.

THE MINISTRY LESSON:
We live in an age with many cultures and subcultures. And effectively reaching them often requires learning how speak a culture’s language. But just because you can speak a few words of a culture’s language, does not mean you know how to effectively reach and communicate with them. In fact, you could do more harm than good.

For example, it is common for youth ministers to try to “speak” the language of youth culture by dressing like the teens they are trying to reach. Many youth pastors can pull this off. But there are some who end up looking like they are in a mid-life crisis. Authenticity speaks volumes to teenagers, and without it, a youth pastor just looks like a poser.

Knowing a culture’s language is useless if you do not have the right “words” to say.

And vice versa:

Having the right “words” to say is useless if you do not know a culture’s language.

I struggled to learn Spanish, and consequently, I got little value out of attending Spanish Sunday School. I’m sure it was good, but it was useless since I did not speak the language. Likewise, a ministry can say all the right things but still be ineffective if people do not understand the cultural language being used.

I do believe there are exceptions to these rules. But in most cases, effectively reaching a culture requires:

1. Knowing how to speak the culture’s language.
2. Knowing the right words to say.

Rick Warren of Saddleback Church (Lake Forest, CA) has made a list of seven common church leadership mistakes to avoid.

1. You stop growing.
2. You stop caring.
3. You stop listening.
4. You get distracted.
5. You get complacent.
6. You become arrogant.
7. You fail to delegate.

For Rick Warren’s tips on overcoming each mistake, read the full article.

For Discussion:
Are there any leadership mistakes you would add to this list? If so, how can one keep from making those mistakes?

Going All the Way by Craig Groeschel of LifeChurch.tv (Edmond, OK) was written as a guide to having a better marriage, but it also has some valuable lessons for leaders. In particular, Craig discusses how to be a better listener in 3 easy steps.

1. When someone is speaking, stop everything and focus intently on the other person.
   Don’t think about something else. Don’t formulate your response. You’re goal is to comprehend not just the person’s words, but their heart.
2. Don’t just listen with your ears, but also with your eyes.
   Pay attention to facial expressions and to body language. You’ll be surprised how much information comes through gestures and stance, even how the other person breathes while they’re talking.
3. Repeat back to the person what you’re hearing so the other person knows what you heard.
   By telling [someone] what I think [he] meant, I can confirm that I’ve understood [him]. It also affirms to [him] the value of what [he] said. It shows [him] not just that I heard [him], but that I was listening. Which demonstrates to [him] that I care.

Being a good listener not only makes you more likable but wiser. There is a lot to be learned from the ideas and insights of other people.

For Discussion:
Are there any tips you would add to these three for becoming a better listener?

Perry Noble of NewSpring Church (Anderson, SC) recently blogged about seven joy killers in ministry. Here is a quick summary:

1. Comparing your ministry to other ministries.
2. Focusing on critics.
3. Being too busy.
4. Being proud.
5. Losing perspective.
6. Having too little faith.
7. Becoming stagnate in personal growth.

To read Perry’s thoughts on each area, check out the original post.

Earlier today children’s ministry expert Jim Wideman of World Outreach Church (Murfreesboro, TN) blogged the following good reminder for church leaders:

God is just as concerned about how we treat the people we lead as what we get accomplished.

Remember, they may be your leaders, but they are His kids.

So don’t let the success of results be at the expense of relationships.

I recently read Going All the Way by Craig Groeschel of LifeChurch.tv (Edmond, OK). It is a relationships book that discusses how to prepare for a marriage that goes the distance. While most books in this genre are written only for married couples or only for the engaged or the dating or even just for singles, Craig does a great job presenting Biblical advice that can help people regardless of what their relationship status is.

He covers topics such as putting God first, finding your soul mate, dating tips, purity tips, godly relationships, and even how and when to break up. He explains how to be a good husband and how to be a good wife. And he discusses what it takes to keep one’s marriage passionate and one’s priorities in line. In other words, Going All the Way will give you a balanced education of everything it takes to have a successful marriage.

A few highlights:

• Minor adjustments produce marginal results. To experience the kind of relationships we long for, we must, with God’s help, prepare to be genuinely different.
• Loving the Lord is our first priority. Without Jesus in first place, what comes next will never quite work, including our love relationships.
• If you want what few have, do what few do. Raise your standards. Pursue holiness.
• “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25). Men, when you become a husband, it’ll be an honor to give yourself up for your wife.
• Everyone has seasons when an important lower priority takes a disproportionate amount of time. Those are seasons anyone can endure… if they don’t become a way of life.
• Keep the good things from taking priority over the best.
• What person do I need to become so I’ll be ready for a healthy, fulfilling marriage… and bless my spouse-to-be?
• [Develop] both a thick skin and a soft heart.
• Marriages are healthy because the couple learns to face and work through problems.

Going All the Way is a worthwhile investment for anyone wanting a great marriage.

The Christian Post has a great article by Nelson Searcy of The Journey Church (New York City, NY) on how to deal with five common church growth barriers. Here is a list of the five barriers with a quick summary of Searcy’s thoughts on each.

1. Space
   >> When a room reaches 70% of its seating capacity, it’s full.
   >> Most churches face growth barriers when attendance reaches 65, 125, 250, 500, and 1,000.
   >> It is better to grow to 300 or 400 before starting a second service.
2. Self-Development
   >> If the church leaders have stopped maturing spiritually and progressing personally, the congregation is not far behind.
   >> Warning signs include stale sermons, the congregation’s passion waning, and the halt of staff and church growth.
3. Sharing
   >> Churches stop growing when they become inwardly (instead of outwardly) focused.
   >> Healthy churches should have a 5:100 ratio of first-time guests.
4. Weekly Worship Service
   >> To keep your service strong, always try to look like a church twice your size.
5. Staff
   >> Hiring staff is a faith issue.

For more on each area, read the full article from The Christian Post.

Jim Wideman is a leadership and children’s ministry expert, who recently made his monthly leadership MP3 resource called The Club available to young church leaders for free. There are only three requirements:

1. You must be under 30 years of age.
2. You must be in full-time ministry.
3. You must agree to pray for Jim at least once a week.

If that is you, sign up now.

Why is he doing it? In his words:

There are things I know I want to spend the rest of my life passing on to the next generation of leaders.